Once there was a girl named Jan, who had a penis growing out of her knee. Understandably, she really hated kneeling.
But one day, God came to her. "Kneel before thy Lord!" he boomed from beneath his gigantic bushy beard.
So she kneeled on the one, dickless knee, and splayed the other leg kind of to the side, trying to make the procedure as comfortable as possible.
"No, kneel properly, my child! Kneel!"
She tried to swing her errant leg in, but God was so attractive (naturally, as a perfect being), that her knee-dick was all boned up, so she couldn't.
"I can't!" she said.
"That's it, you're going to hell," God said, and vanished with a poof.
So, knowing that she was condemned to hell, she lived a debaucherous life from then on. She shoplifted, didn't reply to email promptly, and pimped out young Asian children.
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