The Ballad of John Cougar Mellencamp & R. Kelly

Now John Mellencamp, once Johnny Cougar
Get a life, your music sounds like a booger!
The first time I saw you was on Pop-Up Video
Mom thought you were okay, but I thought you were shitty-o!

And Caroline thought you were blind!
She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time!

CAR-O-LINE!
TI-I-I-ME!
Blind!

That singer R. Kelly likes underage girls
I heard he peed on them, and that made me hurl!
"Trapped in the Closet" was an urban o-per-a
With singles like that, no wonder he's popular!

And Eleanor thought he was blind!
She only learned diff'rent with the passage of time!

EL-EA-NO-OR!
TI-I-I-ME!
Blind!

Doo doo doo
Doo doo, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo

Doo doo doo
Doo doo, doo-doo doo doo-doo doo-doo

Dooooot! Dooooot! Dooooot! Doooooot! Doooooot!

But Dan never thought they were blind!
He never relied on the passage of time!

DA-A-A-AN!
TI-I-I-IME!
Wise!


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