Tie me up against the wall. Cuff me with the fuzzy cuffs or use those ropes. I don't care. Just secure me so that I can't move very much. Okay?

Okay, now whip me. Here and here and here. With that whip. No, the bigger one. Yeah, whip my body so that I hurt! But don't whip me there -- that hurts too much.

Yes, whip me, whip me! Yes! Alright!

Okay, enough whipping. Maybe more later. Now put those nipple clamps on. Put them on harder. That's not hard enough -- okay, that's hard enough. Careful! Okay.

Oh nipple clamps! Oh!

Now say degrading things to me! Call me a slut! A whore! A stinky gross ugly man! A nerd! A poo holder! A...yes, you've got the idea now. Yes! Call me those things. Wait -- don't call me that. That's a little offensive. I know you're not being serious, but I'm kind of sensitive about that.

Oh! These nipple clamps are the best! Yeah, I like these. Sorry? They don't really do much for you? Well, keep them on me a little while longer. And tug on them a bit -- whoa, just a bit. Yeah. Is that better? Well, whatever. I like them.

Okay, what next? Oh, good idea. Yes, the hot oil. Is it hot enough? Well I'm not sure. How do you know? What temperature is it supposed to be? Do you have a thermometer? Check on the Internet. I'll wait here. Oh, before you check that out, put those nipple clamps back on me. Yes. Mmmm, that's good. Oh!

You done yet? Hey, you done yet? Yeah, okay. Well, let's play it by ear. I said, let's play it by ear. You can feel the bottle and judge for yourself, or pour a little drop on first and we'll see. Okay. Pour some on. Yeah. I think that's alright. It could probably be a little hotter, though.

Wait -- is that the phone? Shit, yeah, it's the phone. Well, you better go get it. Don't take too long.

I hope she gets back soon. These nipple clamps are starting to chafe. I think my nipples need moisturizing, that's the thing. They get kind of dry in the winter.

Honey? You done yet? Hmm. La la la. Hmm.

Man, my arms are getting tired. And my legs. Next time I think I'm going to do this lying down. That would be much more relaxing. Maybe I should get her to strap me to the bed. But I like doing this kind of thing here in the basement. Maybe we should buy a cheap bed at a garage sale and put it in the basement. We could use it as a guest bed, too.

Honey? You done yet? Well, you've been on the phone for a while. Oh, it's your mother?

Fuck. Her mom never stops talking. What? Oh, sorry, honey!